Written by Rotten Apple
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Topics: Paul McCartney

Saturday, 10 November 2007

image for Paul McCartney in New Group
Halitosis fans fight for just a tiny whiff of Paul McCartney's microphone after a concert.

Fans are screaming once again for Paul McCartney during the first concert with his new band. Even middle-aged women were fainting as the group Halitosis belted out it's first big hit in concert. "Breathe On Me" surged to the top of the pop charts within a week of its release.

The aging, but ever-youthful McCartney joined together with three other rock musicians who never brush, floss, or gargle to form the group Halitosis this past summer. "I always hated brushing me teeth anyway," said McCartney, "so forming Halitosis was a natural for me." Other Halitosis members Rick James, Janis Joplin, and Keith Moon all agree that anything spent on toothpaste and mouthwash is a total waste of good money.

The band's standard contract rider calls for four cases of onion juice, six jars of gefilte fish, and several pounds of very ripe limburger cheese all kept un-refrigerated in the dressing room.

Halitosis fans support the band by not brushing their teeth for several weeks before every concert. The odiferous stench that is part of each Halitosis appearance is what keeps the fans coming back. Paul McCartney's fan mail regularly includes rotten teeth that have fallen out. Opening up the fan mail is McCartney's favorite activity. "I wrote 'Breathe On Me' after receiving one fantastic fan letter that included a complete set of rotten teeth. It was a real knockout!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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