LONDON BM - The much anticipated reunion of superstar rock band Led Zeppelin was postponed recently due to an injury to Robert Plant's penis. Details of the prickly 59 year-old front man's injuries remain unclear, but rumours continue to abound of a malfunctioning electric penis pump and Black Magic.
Plant refused comment on the cause of his injuries, but did reveal their extent, saying, "I count myself lucky it was just a sprain, and not a fracture, although there is considerable bruising."
"Obviously we are disappointed, but Robert's health is first and foremost to us." commented guitarist and founding member Jimmy Page. "Percy is the cock-of-the-walk, and if he's not at 100%, it's sure to be a limp show. Anything other than a rock-solid performance would be a huge disappointment to ourselves and our fans."
Organist and bass player John Paul Jones agreed, saying, "Led Zeppelin can not possibly perform without Robert's package clearly visible and holding forth through his tight hip-huggers, fronting the band."
One Zeppelin fan seemed to sum up the public's sentiment. "I've waited me whole life for this," said shaft inspector John Thomas of Manchester. "I guess I'll just have to wait a bit longer, although I do hope the ticket holders don't get hung out to dry."
The sold-out show, scheduled for mid-November in London, has officially been put on hold while Plant recovers in the South of France.
"We will reschedule when we feel Robert is ready to pull it off, and not before." said a testy Peter Grant, deceased Zeppelin manager. "I assure you Robert Plant and his Led Zeppelin will rise again."