Written by Buck E Filbert
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Topics: WGA

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton Responsible For Writers Strike
We have to write? That sucks!

The Writers Guild of America (WGA) made it official Monday and started picketing the studios across the US. Many people have been misled as to the reason the writers have gone on strike, a raise from 4 cents to 8 cents per DVD, sharing of Internet profits from producers. These reasons, while valid, are really just a smoke screen for the real problem at hand. The Spoof has found the alarming truth behind this strike.

Last night Lindsay Lohan didn't dance on any tables, didn't brawl in any allies, didn't flash any gash, didn't crash into any bushes and wasn't discovered with a white powder substance in her pocket that she didn't know anything about.

Britney Spears has also been behaving remarkably well of late. Who knows she may be working towards that mother of the year award she's so desperately been seeking. It seems being #1 on the charts has mellowed our mom in waiting. Why she's even driving legally.

Lindsay and Britney are not alone in this revolutionary good girl act. Paris Hilton is on board claiming she's going to Rwanda to do volunteer work making the plight of the people more public. Surprisingly she's only had one minor wardrobe malfunction recently, a nip slip from a loose fitting dress.Minor league for Paris.

A high-ranking mucky muck, who wished to remain anonymous from inside the WGA came forward to reveal, "the writers are in a panic, Lindsay, Paris and Britney acting respectable, what are we suppose to write about? Bush,,,? No pun intended, everyone in the country knows he's full of shit, how boring. The fresh celebutantes are taking too long to come forward to fill the void. Vanessa Hudgens, although her first effort was admirable, Hayden Panettiere, who hasn't shown any effort at all, and the new crowd are taking too long to step up. Dog The Bounty Hunter and Oprah's fun house for kids just isn't cutting it, We need something spectacular and salacious to sustain our hunger for sensational material."

Apparently the WGA will not call an end to the strike until a few tarts step up and start doing the deed. A couple of exploitive sex tapes here, underaged celebrity drunken vomiting, some gash flashes there, would call an end to this costly strike undoubtably.

One picketing writer said, "It's very difficult and time consuming to write something clever when you have to do it from scratch. The girls made our job
nice and easy, we'd like to stick to that."

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
11.07.07

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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