Fairfax District, California - Perhaps an act of rebellion of having been outed by his author, J.K. Rowling, Dumbeldore was arrested along with other famously outed gay children's characters Tinky Winky and Sponge Bob Square Pants for breaking and entering Canter's Deli in the Fairfax District of Los Angeles. All three were apprehended while engaged in making a Hoagie sandwich when police responded to the burglar alarm in the predawn hours early this morning.
The damage caused is estimated to be in the tens of thousands of dollars as the entire inventory will have to be discarded and the place professionally steam cleaned.
"Why would they do this?" asked Canters Deli manager, Sam Goldberg. "They were such good boys. I blame that Dumbeldore character. He's old enough to know better. Shame on him for acting like that."
According to the police report, all three were upset by the WGA writers strike was on and so went out bar hoping late last night to build up some courage to cross the writers picket line. They had secretly contacted a couple of producers and arranged to meet with at the famous Jewish deli to pitch their script they had collaborate on and just completed when the strike was called.
However, unbeknownst to them the deli had to close seasonably early due to yet another power outage, or what is euphemistically referred to by the State of California as a rolling blackout.
"Apparently they over did it on the liquid courage," read the police report. "And so impaired was their judgment, they proceeded to break into the deli convinced the producers were still waiting inside for them and merely turned off the lights to help conceal their clandestine meeting."
Upset to find the producers were not inside, Dumbeldore and Tinky Winky took out their frustrations on Sponge Bob Square Pants by squeezing him, which lead them to the kitchen area of the deli, sampling some of the salted meat products, other fine Jewish fare and ultimately the making of a Hoagie sandwich.
To their credit, however, when they sobered up in police custody, all volunteered to pay for all damages and personally offered to clean up the place using Sponge Bob Square Pants and a pail of water they barrowed from Jack and Jill.