Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Tuesday, 6 November 2007

image for Katie Holmes makes a surprise run at the New York marathon but despite her best efforts she is still apprehended by her husband, Tom Cruise
Katie Holmes makes a surprise run at yesterdays New York marathon but doesn't get far

New York, New York - Katie Holmes makes a surprise run at yesterdays New York marathon but she was later apprehended by her husband, Tom Cruise This is the second time she has tried to escape their marriage, but the first time she has attempted to do so in a public place. Experts recommend that you always breakup in a public place for safety reasons.

"It's always best to breakup with a lover or even a husband in a very public place," says Lilly Wallace, a personal defense trainer. "You're safer because all the people act like witlessness and the person you are breaking up with knows that and so is less likely to react violently to having their heart broken."

Officially, Katie Holmes had been training for the New York 26-mile marathon for several months now, but according to close friends of Holmes she had secretly been planning her escape from her marriage by posing as a runner at yesterdays New York marathon.

"She had everybody fooled," said a close friend who asked not to be identified. "Everyone thought she was training for the marathon, even Tom. I didn't even know until hours before when she asked me to pick up Suri (their child) from the sitters and meet her under the Statue of Liberty."

Apparently, at some predestined stretch of the marathon that ends at Central Park, Holmes was to give the two bodyguards the slip, which accompanied her running alongside as she ran, by making up an excuse she had to use the restroom.

"Suri was supposed to be with the sitter but Tom got suspicious and turned up at the marathon with her instead," continued the friend. "While Katie was getting ready to make her move and give the guards the slip, she turned the corner and spotted Tom holding Suri. That's when she knew the gig was up. She couldn't leave without Suri."

Holmes finished the race under five and a half hours, a personal best for her. She later attended a movie premiere that evening, wearing high heals and with her husband, Tom Cruise, close at her side.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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