The Spoof! -- Celebrity Entertainment Reporter, Buck Filbert, acknowledged a secret obsession with tuna the other day.
"Well, I just really like the smell of that stuff myself," Filbert openly explained for the first time, "I mean, I could just sniff that stuff all day long -- and every day too."
Asked if he enjoys the taste of tuna as much as the aroma, Filbert stated, "Yes, I do. However, my problem is that I sometimes just don't know when to stop wallowing in it because, well, it really does taste and smell that good."
As the snapshot accompanying this story attests, Mr. Filbert isn't exaggerating his fishy obsession one bit. An acquaintance of Filbert's, Mike Hunt, explained that although Filbert is pretty much a "good ole boy," the accompanying tuna smell takes some getting used to for some folks. "Oh yeah," the acquaintance mused, "it's kinda like somebody that eats lot's of garlic fer health reasons and such. Hell, it may be good fer ya, but it's that damned stench that follers a feller around that sucks."
Such criticisms don't seem to faze Buck Filbert, however. "Well, some folks smoke them cigars and blow smoke all over the darned place. Some people wear obnoxious perfume and stuff. And don't even get me started on that Britney Spears. So see, I happen to like tuna. I smoke it; I suckle it; and sometimes, I just bury my face in it -- in fact, I just can't get enough of it," Filbert went on to explain before adding, "besides, I'm single."
Asked what significance his marital status holds, Mr. Filbert explained, "Well, I got me a divorce 26 years ago, so the occasional fishy smell doesn't bother anybody anymore back at the trailer. I can now enjoy tuna as often as I can afford it."