Satirist and imponderable soap box washer, King David reported himself arrested today while watering his plants (not pants). The 44-year-old character assassin said that he was standing in his front yard watering a lowly crocus when Durham police spotted him.
"I saw the van and should have suspected something," the badgered (not buggered) King said.
The truculent King was immediately handcuffed and wrestled to the ground and taken to jail. Durham residents have been on mandatory water restriction for two weeks allowing for no watering at any time.
"This is disgraceful," the incarcerated and erudite King said once in jail. "I want to speak with an attorney."
Several hours later, word came from King's attorney, the implacably emolument rabbit, Queen Mudder.
"This was just an excuse for the authorities to get him," she said. "His numerous attempts to expose the truth about some spurious and rancorous dictator whether they are a school administrator in the local school system, highway patrol officer on the roads of North Carolina, or government official in some nose-bleed position stuck with his hands in the till seem to have caught up with him."
King had told the Queen that he was aware of the restrictions, but didn't think that they applied to him because he owns a well.
She maintained that that wasn't the real issue and says that King was targeted by local police who were probably working in tandem with federal officials who would like to see the maniacally menacing satirist blacklisted for telling the truth in his stories.
"This is the worst drought that we have seen in a long time," said city councilman, Ralph Eggers. "Anyone who violates water restrictions should be strung up by their toes and displayed in SunTrust plaza right next to the statue of the Durham bull with the huge bronze balls."
King was reported to have just laughed at the comment.