It was discovered today that the much disputed actual height of former comic and chimney sweep Ronnie Corbett is seven feet.
According to sources, who apparently saw the funnyman falling out of Stringfellow's night club, with professional old man Micky Rooney, 125 fellow revellers where awe struck by his height which he has hidden well since child birth.
"He was enormous," explained Dominic Turd (21). "To be honest, when we found out he was in there we expected him to be pushed out in a pram because we thought he was that small! But when he stumbled out we couldn't believe our eyes - there was this great big fat seven footer who everyone recognised straight away as Ronnie Corbett."
When confronted by this, Ronnie (99), while hiding behind a sofa, said: "It's complete bollocks. I'm fucking 4 feet, get a life and leave me alone."
When asked why he wouldn't let us see his true height, he simply said: "I'm naked now piss off."