Written by IN SEINE
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Monday, 29 October 2007

image for Pete Doherty writes book
"I'll give it all up to become a Jehovah's Witness!"

Pete Doherty has done it again… escaped a jail sentence! 'Wildboy' Pete Doherty has just emerged from court today with yet another suspended sentence. The 28 year-old who already has 8 ASBOS is now holder of the world record for suspended sentences at 49.

Known for living on the edge of life, if the former Libertines frontman gets one more, it will mean the ultimate suspended sentence - hanging!

The only bars Pete seems to be behind are the ones in the dock (where he has spent most of his life) and Madame Tussauds are considering making a wax work model of him standing in one. Originally they were going to depict him 'powdering his nose' with cocaine but they were persuaded not to by 'Smackheads Anonymous'.

Not one for being a time-waster, the former boyfriend of Kate Moss is going to follow in the footsteps of his mum, Jackie, by writing a book called "My Virtual Prison" in which he recounts each one of his 'almost' prison sentences. Depending on how much time he has on his hands (between court appearances) it is set to be either the shortest book in the world or the longest book.

Mr Doherty told an In Seine News reporter "I wanna show the world that I have a talent. That talent is ATTRACTION…. OK so far I've attracted all bad news, but all that is going to change soon - I'm going to become a Jehovah's Witness!"

When asked: "why?"

He replied "Well it's quite simple really; there 3 reasons;.

1. I don't like the concept of hell - it bad enough taking an iffy cocktail of coke!.

2. My favourite song is All Along The Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix

3. I actually met God on one of my trips and thoroughly nice fellow he is, so I guess that makes me a Jehovah's Witness"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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