Las Vegas, Nevada- In an attempt to recover from stagnant record sales, Britney Spears once again got drunk and married in Las Vegas. This time her victim, er spouse, is none other than dueling pop diva Christina Aguilera.
Spears' publicist insists her client is not trying to start a new trend, but that Spears and Aguilera are "very much in love."
Leading fans to think differently, Aguilera publicly dissed Spears, saying, "I'm too young and independent to commit to one person. I don't need to be married. Besides, her boobs are so fake."
Spears plans to contest Aguilera's petition for annulment, on the grounds that "the marriage has been consummated, multiple times, with plenty of witnesses to verify it." Spears continued by saying, "I'm not going to have two failed marriages, so that little tramp is going to have to suck it up and make this work."
Rosie O'Donell, a good friend of Spears, plans to host an extravagant reception for the new couple in her home next week. "I won't be there," said Aguilera. "Yes she will," said Spears.