Written by Mark Lowton
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Wednesday, 24 March 2004

image for Uri Geller Awarded
"...he does have those hypnotic 'come-to-bed' eyes." - Hanz Freiman

Spoon Bender extraordinaire Uri Geller has been awarded the "Biggest Bender of the Year" by a popular homosexual oriented magazine this month.

We are told that is was long known friend of Geller, Michael Jackson, who put his name up for the award.

"I just love it when Uri comes round and bends my spoon," Jackson said, "He's shown me how to do it before but I just can't bend like he can."

Coming close second was football legend David Beckham who's famous for bending his balls.

"It was a tough decision," stated Hanz Freiman from MAN magazine, "Beckham's so sexy but Uri's such an excellent bender. In the end we decided an outwardly gay magazine couldn't choose Beckham because he's well known as a married man who adores his children. At least with Uri there's some doubt over his sexuality, and to be frank, he does have those hypnotic 'come-to-bed' eyes."

Uri has yet to comment on his award, it is rumoured that when he heard of the award he was so delighted he emmitted a surge of extrasensory energy that bent every metal object within his house, including locks, keys, phone, computer, everything.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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