Bangkok, Thailand - A week after losing in the early rounds here in Thailand, Maria Sharapova has confided in The Spoof's Sports an exclusive story. Her early round losses at Wimbledon and now the U.S. Open were not due to her abilities waining, but because of her pining for something she cannot have, Michael Jackson.
"I know its silly," said Maria, "But he's so cute when he acts like he's effeminate. I just wish there were some way the little pervert would...notice me. I know he has shady past and all that, but surely he's not that perverted, he was so cute when he was young!"
We asked her what she would say to Michael if he responded to this article. "I'm sure he won't, he's too shy and besides, I'm certain Dad would never let him near me, but I do hope at some level he at least will know I care. Oh hell I might well say it! I want Michael Jackson's babies! There now are you satisfied!"
Maria then shrieked something at us in Russian and the interview was over.
Your move Michael!