Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Monday, 22 October 2007

image for "High School Musical 28 ½: Superbug Staph Infection!" -- Disney's planned PSA on the importance of maintaining teenage personal hygiene
"High School Musical 28 ½: Superbug Staph Infection!" A PSA on the importance of maintaining teenage personal hygien

Hollywood, California - Panic rules the bathrooms, gym showers and cafeteria of the East Side High Campus as it is quarantined by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) because of a case of the superbug staph infection has broken out among the student body and staff. CDC officials (the guys in the bright yellow full body helmeted suits marked in bold black letters HAZMAT), have isolated the origin of the source as coming from Troy's footlocker.

An overall lapse of proper teenaged hygiene by the East Side Wild Cat's Basketball team members has allowed in a common easily treatable form of athlete's foot fungus growing between Troy's toes to mutate into a deadly strain of the drug resistant superbug staph infection, killing over half the East Side High student body and staff.

Gabriella and Troy, the only two uninfected by the superbug so far, decide to put on a stage production of "12 Monkeys" in the gym to boost school morale where a triage unit as been set up to treat the surviving student body and staff, who lay awaiting their Last Rights, dying.

The CDC suspects Gabriella, due to the fact that she is constant contact (making out) with Troy, appears to have developed immunity to Troy's deadly foot fungus.

After a battery of blood tests, the CDC confirms Gabriella does in fact possess a cure in her blood. They begin to draw it immediately from her to form an anti-body vaccine necessary to save the remainder of the surviving student body and staff. Only drawing her blood has left Gabriella too weak to go on with the show with Troy.

Divided between saving the remainder of the surviving student body and staff and desperate not to disappoint Troy, Gabriella nonetheless decides to place both in jeopardy by going on with the show despite her weakened condition.

During the Jitter Bug dance routine, she begins to convulse, but it goes unnoticed by Troy thinking it part of the act. That is until suddenly she collapses, while Troy attempts to toss her over his head during the finale of the dance maneuver.

Later as Gabriella comes to in a quarantine tent sporting a headdress of bandages and surrounded by the now fully recovered remainder of the surviving student body and staff and standing outside holding hands in a circle while singing "Tears for Fears: 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World."

Troy slowly peers through the frame of the plastic observation window of Gabriella's quarantine tent. While smiling with a tear in his eye, he lips to Gabriella "Will you wear my letterman jacket?" Then he points to it (still wrapped in a clear plastic bag marked in bold black letters on bright yellow caution tape: CONTAMINATED - INCINERATE IMMEDIATELY!), which he romantically hung from her intravenous feeding tube by her gurney while she was still unconscious.

Gabriella begins signal back to Troy, "Yes" but as she is too weak to even make the attempt, while trying to pout her pale purple lips to form the word, the strain of the effort slips her back into a coma.

So concludes Part 1 of Disney's PSA "High School Musical 28 ½: Superbug Staph Infection!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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