Written by Billy Bloom

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Topics: Ellen DeGeneres

Saturday, 20 October 2007

image for Ellen's Ex-Dog to Host New Daytime Talk Show
Bill Murray's Golden Retriever 'Meatball' Will Be Iggy's First Guest

Iggy, the pooch at the center of the Ellen Degeneres Woofergate scandal, has signed a three-year deal to host a new talk show on Fox, tentatively called "Dog Dishin'."

After sky-rocketing to fame in the wake of the Mutts and Moms adoption scandal, Iggy was besieged by offers. "I chose Fox because they offered me the most creative license," said the tiny mixed-breed canine. "The 3 1/2 points on the back-end didn't hurt, either."

Reflecting back on the controversy, Iggy, whose gender is unknown, said "To be honest, I was pretty happy to get out of Ellen's house. I got nothin' against a little lady-on-lady lovin', but those damn cats of hers were nasty! I mean, please--could you do your licking in private?? Then I ended up in the house of that crazy hairdresser! I have to tell you, until you've had a weave, you have no idea what true pain is!"

The new show will feature interviews with the dogs of top celebrities. "I've already heard from many hounds who want to be on the show. And if it's any indication, they're going to have plenty of dishin' to do," said the mongrel.

When asked to comment on rumors that "Dog Dishin' " might end up scheduled directly against her own show, Ellen first started crying uncontrollably. Then, calming herself down, she said "Bring it on, bitch! I've hosted the Emmy's! I've done Anne Heche! I ain't afraid of no dog!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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