Written by eimeartee
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Sunday, 21 March 2004

image for Loins-R-Us........Really?
First and only purchase made by F Arvizu of LA

Actor Kevin Costner's new business venture looks over before it really began. "Loins-R-Us", the first specialist chain of loincloth stores looks set to close if business doesn't pick up. Mr Costner first got the idea when he overheard George Clooney mention that there weren't enough loincloths on the market. Mr Clooney is said to be "mildly amused" that his comments were taken seriously. Mr Costner has apparently contacted famous loincloth wearers such as Tarzan and Gollum (of LOTR fame) in a last ditch attempt to have a celebrity as the face of his stores. Tarzan expressed interest, but no longer has the figure for a loincloth. Gollum declined because of "Previous engagements" (or more accurately, the artists that draw Gollum had "Previous engagements"). A spokesman stated that "Mr Costner feels that he grossly over estimated the market for loincloths." No kidding.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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