In an exclusive interview by Hartford Advocate reporter Rory Gilmore, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad lamented "I wanted to be the seventh Brady kid but they brought in that stupid Cousin Oliver. He can't even sing or dance as well as me. Why not Cousin Mahmoud? Now THAT is comedy".
He went on to complain "I think that Brady Bunch producer Sherwood Schwartz was against me the whole time and we both know why. How was I too short to be a Brady kid? That shrimp Bobby was no Kareem Abdul Jabbar".
He explained that the real reason for the 1979 hostage crises in Tehran was just to get attention. "It was just a publicity stunt gone horribly wrong" he confided. "What was your President Carter thinking? He didn't even try to get me an audition". Ahmadinejad really just wanted a part in the upcoming Brady movie "The Brady Girls Get Married".
A somber Ahmadinejad explained "I really wanted to marry Jan. What a foxy lady she was".
Following advice from President Reagan Ahmadinejad decided to let the hostages go, give up on acting and go into politics. Following in his new heroes' footsteps he is now the President of a country as well. But, as Ahmadinejad says, "I'd give it all up for a chance to play Russian Comedian Yakov Smirnoff in his life story".