Dead Children's Author, Enid Blyton is to front the Government's new reading initiative - called 'Get with reading, Kids'. In an attempt to seem cool, cutting edge, and street, the government is using the type of language that has not been used since the late 1970's.
Speaking on the campaign's behalf, Prime Minister Gordon Brown said 'Reading is a very important life skill, and we are aiming for all children to be able to read by the age of eight. I know that it sounds like an unattainable aim, but we have to make it so that we don't fall behind our European competitors. Reading is cool, Get on the Bus, Daddio'
Living Children's Author JK Rowling was unavailable for comment, as children reading before they are eight has enabled her to pay for 15 different houses in 12 different countries. Kate Thornton was unavailable for comment.