Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 2 October 2007

image for Madonna helping Britney with secret London move after child custody fiasco
Londoners soon to be treated to impromptu Britney karaoke sightings?

Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Madonna is secretly helping beleaguered Britney Spears to move to London after the Californian singer's temporary loss of custody of her two young sons to money-grubbing ex-husband Kevin Federline.

The 26 year old wildchild shrugged off today's custody legal moves news with typical restraint:

"Always knew Kevin would try gettin' round the prenup by stealin' my boys! And now he's holdin' me to ransom for outrageous child maintenance payments!" the troubled singer told Beverly Hills friends today.

LA divorce attorneys have said that Federline could now claim up to $100,000 per month from his ex-wife in lieu of extra parenting burden costs placed upon him by seizing sole custody control today.

Meanwhile in London real estate sources have confirmed that Britney's pal Madonna - who lured the Californian chanteuse astray with her 2003 MTV awards ceremony stage grope 'n' kiss - is helping to fix up her imminent move.

Property search company Fab/Glam/Pads.com has reportedly said it has been instructed via Madonna's lawyer to proceed with the purchase of a lavish ten bed Chelsea mansion for Britney and her boys.

The sumptuous Cheyne Row spread was once the home of the Maharajah of Jaipur before casino losses forced him to sell up in 1995.

It is sited next door to Rolling Stone's singer Mick Jagger's former palatial home in a prime West London river-fronting street littered with international celebrities.

The proposed London move is seen as a natural choice for Spears now that she is being - in her own words - 'targeted by 'a bunch of moral majority killjoy dry-drunks' jealous of her appetite to party at will.

More news is expected later in the week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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