Written by Jesus Budda

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Sunday, 30 September 2007

image for Hollywood Big Noses gather to celebrate at Annual Event
Steffi Graf at the Annual NOSEY Awards

A glittering array of stars turned out last night for the 42nd annual Nosey's. Celebrating the best and the brightest big nosed stars, the event attracted such luminaries as Barry Manilow, Barbara Streisand,Dustin Hoffman, and Pete Townsend of The Who, who arrived with someone else's children. Oh,and Ashley Simpson was there too. But she was ignored by most sane individuals.

"I'm delighted to be here", said nominee Sean Penn, "I rowed here in a bathtub after another of my homes burned down but this whole occasion has cheered me up. I owe my career to my big nose".

Tennis ace, Steffi Graf spoke briefly: "A few years ago I won Best Supporting Female Nose but this year I'm just happy to be nominated", she lied.

Each nominated person receives a gift basket containing tissues and nose hair clippers, worth almost $5000.

British big nose Rod Stewart was in great mood: "I bumped into Ronnie Woods (The Rolling Stones) back stage and we shared a hankerchief. Maybe we'll share some nose-candy later on, too".

A special award was posthumously awarded to legendary performer Jimmy Durante for "Outstanding Achievemnt in Big Noseness".

Full results are available online somewhere - probably.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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