The popular talk programme 'The Jeremy Kyle Show' is to go on a live tour of Britain later in the year. The show, presented, as usual, by Kyle, will take place in zoos, so that middle class citizens may gawp at their pleasure.
"We want to help people deal with their insecurities," Said a spokesman, "And so allowing them to enjoy the spectacle of the working classes being roundly abused will help to instil them with a healthy feeling of smug superiority."
The Jeremy Kyle Show has been criticised of late, with one Judge describing it as 'a human form of bear baiting.' Kyle was quick to hit back at these accusations, stating: 'That is out of order, [he is] not going to take this, that is out of order!'
For fans of the programme, the live show will more than live up to expectations. Victims will include the 18 stone boy, who will be pelted with eighteen rocks until he loses weight. At the end of each performance Kyle will whip his guests like dogs, in what promises to be the ultimate middle class masturbatory fantasy.