Britney Spears has announced that, from October, her fan club will no longer operate. This is due, almost entirely, to the fact that she no longer has any fans.
Spears, who recently attempted a comeback that fell flat at the MTV Music Awards, once commanded a fan base of billions, but, of late, has lost her husband, hair and marbles, and cannot even remember what a good song sounds like.
A spokesman for the former star told a bunch of reporters following her around for a good 'fat arse' picture:
"It's just not worth it anymore. All people are interested in is her vagina."