New York - (Ass Mess): The desperate attention seeker wife of has-been football hero David Beckham has been dubbed a 'sinister and pointless ragbag of bodily fluids' by New York's iconic style bible Radar Magazine.
Victoria Beckham was also voted 'more pointless than Paris Hilton' and 'worst walking advertisement for breast implants' after readers slammed the bronzed, full-blown anorexic look as "SO 1990s".
David Beckham was voted the sport industry's top heterosexuality impersonator after readers questioned his avid eagerness to live less than 100 yards away from Tom Cruise.
The magazine also asked if the couple had ever had their respective DNA tested and mused on possible reactions to them discovering that they might be siblings.
Overall the Beckhams were slated for buying an off-the-shelf instant do-it-yourself LA celebrity make-over kit and for following its instructions religiously.
"We think it'll all be over before Xmas and the couple will return to the tranquil obscurity that is their destiny," an editorial insight added.