Oscar the Grouch has decided to tell the world just what makes him so grouchy. "When I was a little grouch, I was an altar boy and a priest...I can't go on. It hurts too much." He wept to an audience filled with Garbage Collectors at their National Convention, where he was the guest speaker.
"Wow! I never knew Oscar had so many layers to him. I just thought it was caked-on dirt," Pig-Pen, the cleaning challenged Peanuts character, said from somewhere near the Little Red Haired Girl's house.
"Perhaps, the world will look at Oscar a little differently now. He never received top billing on Sesame Street. He deserves credit for being such a courageous grouch. We are so proud of him. It's not easy coming out. I should know." Big Bird issued this statement on behalf of the show in crayola.
Oscar is reportedly working through his issue with a therapist and has no plans to leave the show. He hopes that maybe they can do a special episode called "M" is for "Molestation". However two attempts to contact a writer loosely affiliated with the show have yielded no information.