"Murder She Wrote" actress and jailed killer Angela Lansbury has been unveiling the roster of new acts she has signed to her "Crack Bitch" label.
Lansbury, who is serving multiple life sentences in San Quentin for murder and kidnapping offences, held a press conference from her prison cell. The acts include "Hairy John", "Fat Larry" and "Big Boi Caprese".
"I'm fizzle jizzle to the snizzle whizzle, mo-fo", said Lansbury as she rolled a joint and handed it to her cell mate, Big Bubba.
Due to federal financial regulations, all income from Lansbury's earnings must be donated to the victims of her crimes, so Mafia crime boss John Gotti's widow is in for another mega-windfall.
This story makes more sense if you read this first: "It was Angela Lansbury all along", admit police (Ed)