Written by Jesus Budda
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Thursday, 20 September 2007

image for New "Best Retard" to be awarded at Academy Awards Show
The prized "Best Retard" award - yesterday

Next year's Academy Awards ceremony will see the handing out of a new award for "Best Retard".

"It's in recognition of all the hard work some actors put into their performances to be handicapped or deformed in some way", said Academy spokesman Hugh Aryue.

Tom Hanks, who has won Best Actor a number of times undeservedly believes he's in with a chance.

"I have a new film coming out called Mikey the Mongo Boy where I play the title character. Think of it as Forrest Gump meets Sloth from The Goonies", said the multi-chinned lardy actor.

Brad Pitt also has his eye on the prize.

"I think I could win it just by playing myself", said Pitt during day release from Angelina Jolie's care.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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