Written by Jesus Budda
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Tuesday, 18 September 2007

image for Zombie Olympics to be opened by Mel Gibson
The guy in front is an unfortunate spectator who wandered onto the track by accident

The XXIII Zombie Olympiad's official opening ceremony begins later today with a host of celebrities in attendance.

The Olympic torch will be extinguished by none other than movie star and leper Mel Gibson.

"It is an honor to be chosen", said Mad Mel, "the extinguishing of the Olympic torch symbolises the removal of the zombie's greatest fear - fire - and allows the proud athletes to compete in safety".

Popular events include the 100 meters sprint, which takes over an hour to complete due to the slowness of the competitors.

"What I'm really excited about seeing", said Gibson, "is the swimming events. The water turns to porridge after a couple of laps".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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