Written by Ben Macnair
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Monday, 17 September 2007

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Another day in Woolworths..........The Farce is strong in this one

Lord Vader, the asthmatic anti-hero of space documentary Star Wars has recently lamented the down turn in his career which now sees him working for Woolworths.

The once feared evil over-lord has fallen on hard times, following the murder of his boss, the Emperor (C.Montgomery Burns from the Simpson's) a catastrophic over-spend on the death star, and being disowned by his two children, Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker.

The advert sees the evil lord cavorting in comedy style with the dog Worth and the Sheep Woolly, in an event to sell the world beating conglomerates £5 toaster. It ends with the line: 'This ones a bit on the dark side'.

This latest humiliation follows hot on the heels of Vader's previous upstaging on celluloid by fellow puppets Yoda, and irritating money cash in the Ewoks.

Vader said 'It is so unfair. I used to be feared, but now I am a laughing stock. Things should have been different, but I do have a massive bachelor pad to maintain, and I am still quite a hit with the ladies, if you know what I mean'.

Chewbacca was heard to say, 'MMMMMMMMMMMMMM HHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMM GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR' which roughly translated as 'For God's sake, wash your eyes out Luke, she is your sister'.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown is in talks to revoke Lord Vader's status. He is after all, a feared figure in the known galaxy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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