Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Saturday, 15 September 2007

image for Jenny Craig's latest spokesmodel: Britney! Move over Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli. No. Really. Move over, Okay?
Britney Spears just a few years ago, what happened?

Los Angeles, California - Move over Kirstie Alley, move over Valerie Bertinelli here come Britney! After her catastrophic performance on the MTV's Video Music Awards, Britney's family and friends have decided they have no choice but to conduct an emergency intervention in order to save Britney's career. It is rumored that the intervention is scheduled to take place sometime after her Emmy Awards presentation on Sunday.

"I don't know which was worst," said a music industry critic. "Her performance or that bloated body of hers."

Already 25-years-old, two kids, and soon to be a divorcee, it seems Britney not only has outgrown her fan base but judging the way she looked in that bikini custom last week, all her sexy outfits as well.

Reportedly, Britney was so intoxicated backstage at the MTV awards ceremony that she refused to wear a form-flattering corset like Madonna, or long Cher like hair extensions, that would have covered her up her body, thinking that she actually looked good in that bikini instead.

"That's when we knew she was in real trouble," said a close family friend. "We have seen her stoned before, but she always managed to look so hot that we all turned a blind eye when it came to her self-destructive behavior, but no more."

Unbeknownst to Britney, she will be whisked away by family and friends to an undisclosed Jenny Craig weight control center for immediate detoxification and emergency liposuction.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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