San Francisco, California - (Barefaced Cheek & Ass Mess): The Californian copycat sex-aid industry is cock-a-hoop today after losing no time in launching its newest latex six foot blow-up doll modelled on naked internet pictures of High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens.
The rubber doll comes with a cell phone-operated remote control which can heat up the toy to body temperature, program an array of vibrating orifices, release 'realistic and comforting' quasi-body liquids and activate 'authentic-sounding' acoustic accompaniments modelled on what the manufacturers reckon the young actress sounds like during coitus.
The $500 starting price excludes any extras such as leather undies, nipple rings, real human hair or customised brazilian area.
For $1000 the rubber Vanessa comes equipped with designer lingerie and internal dimensions modelled on 'men's most popularly-requested statistics' including a ribbed, pulsating vaginal lining as imagined by the readers of the Story of O, according to the publicity blurb.
And for $2500 the deluxe version guarantees to 'tighten around your cock like a frenetic boa constrictor' while at the same time providing a large snort of cocaine from a customised dispenser located in the half-cup Victoria's Secret lizardskin brassiere.
"We think our customers will get their money's worth," the retailers said at a press conference today.