Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Vanessa Hudgens

Friday, 14 September 2007

image for Latest 6ft blow-up latex doll modelled on naked Vanessa Hudgens
The basic model before personalization on the conveyor belt

San Francisco, California - (Barefaced Cheek & Ass Mess): The Californian copycat sex-aid industry is cock-a-hoop today after losing no time in launching its newest latex six foot blow-up doll modelled on naked internet pictures of High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens.

The rubber doll comes with a cell phone-operated remote control which can heat up the toy to body temperature, program an array of vibrating orifices, release 'realistic and comforting' quasi-body liquids and activate 'authentic-sounding' acoustic accompaniments modelled on what the manufacturers reckon the young actress sounds like during coitus.

The $500 starting price excludes any extras such as leather undies, nipple rings, real human hair or customised brazilian area.

For $1000 the rubber Vanessa comes equipped with designer lingerie and internal dimensions modelled on 'men's most popularly-requested statistics' including a ribbed, pulsating vaginal lining as imagined by the readers of the Story of O, according to the publicity blurb.

And for $2500 the deluxe version guarantees to 'tighten around your cock like a frenetic boa constrictor' while at the same time providing a large snort of cocaine from a customised dispenser located in the half-cup Victoria's Secret lizardskin brassiere.

"We think our customers will get their money's worth," the retailers said at a press conference today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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