Written by Jarvis
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Friday, 14 September 2007

Pop loser Brian Harvey has been remanded in custody for head butting himself. The former One True Voice bassist, who shot to fame in the nineteen nineties with a string of forgettable hits, is said to be deeply traumatised by the whole experience.

Harvey, who also has learning difficulties, is no stranger to controversy. Perhaps best remembered for admitting to abusing laxatives live on radio 1, his career has seen him lunge from one disaster to another.

Solicitor Den Nilson is confident Harvey will get off with a fine, claiming the head butting was in retaliation to him running himself over four years ago.

"Brian's never really forgiven himself for that" Nilson remarked yesterday.

The case continues.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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