Written by Deanna Goodson
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Saturday, 13 March 2004

image for Charlize Theron's New Man: Nelson Mandela
Ebony and Ivory for the 21st Century

Johannesburg, South Africa --

Charlize Theron, the Oscar-winning actress for her turn as ugly prostitute turned serial killer Aileen Wuornos, has found a new man. She has dumped Irish actor Stuart Townsend for Nelson Mandela, South Africa's former president and cultural icon.

"I just felt it was time to move on. Stuart was nice and all, but Nelson's well...you know what they say, once you go former South African Presidents, you never go back." Charlize supposedly muttered to a friend of hers at a slumber party.

Nelson and Charlize hugged and kissed for reporters. They gushed about how much they loved each other.

But, what about the age difference? "I think it's just not right. Who does she think she is...me?" Anna Nicole Smith may have said.

"Charlize should be dating someone younger. That's the trend right now, not someone so much older. That's just gross," a confidant of Demi Moore told this reporter in a prophetic dream.

Despite the controversy surrounding their hook-up, someone from Charlize's camp supposedly said, "Na na na boo boo. She's Charlize Theron and she'll do what she wants to."

Indeed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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