Why did the two stars brawl at the MTV Video Music Awards show over the weekend?
Some suggest it was because the two combatants share an ex-wife, Pamela Anderson. "Ixnay," say friends of Anderson.
Others claim that Tommy Lee mistakenly sat on The Kid's hat, his prized possession. Meanwhile, another group says that Kid Rock made disparaging remarks about Tommy's tattoos.
Then there's the unconfirmed rumor that the two men were in adjoining stalls in a men's room, and Tommy slid his left foot over to touch the foot of The Kid, indicating that he wanted "a piece of The Rock." An irate Lee quickly discounted that rumor, explaining that, as a drummer, he simply has a wide stance.
Mark Lowton, owner of The Spoof, was asked to broker a peace between the two stars but had to refuse due to the hectic nature of his day job, rewinding DVDs. In his place, top writer at The Spoof, Queen Mudder, has stepped up to the plate. As she left for the first session of the peace conference, the tightlipped legal whiz had only a four-word statement: "Boys will be boys."