New York - (Cheeky Ass Mess): Artist Banksy has told a US TV show that High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens' breasts "should be immortalised in oils":
"First, I would recommend that a skilled masseur prepares Miss Hudgens' stunning talking points with a shiatzu workout using cocoabutter, lanolin, goosefat and Dom Perignon mixture."
"About three bottled of the '96 vintage should do it.
"This would guarantee that a portrait sitting of several hours duration wouldn't have to be interrupted with the usual half-hourly nipple stimulation necessary to do the sitter justice.
"Of course a lot of portrait artists use blow-fans to achieve a similar effect.
"But in Miss Hudgens' case this would be inappropriate.
"I'd favor leaving the massaging cream on her breasts.
"It would make a better picture - especially if those twin peaks were sprinkled with some cake frosting like Hundreds 'N' Thousands.
"How much sweeter can ya get?"