Hollywood, Nova Scotia - Britney Spears made her comeback official this past weekend, performing for a crowd of overrated stars and has-beens. Her performance included several new numbers, but none were as satisfying to watch as her hip-hop version of "You Light Up My Life". It was during this song that George Clooney fell over backwards in his chair after falling asleep. He later claimed he was merely closing his eyes to imagine what Barbara Eden use to look like naked.
"Well I grew up watching I cream on, I mean I dream of Jeanie...and of course Britney was simply...(yawns)...spectacular singin' the Start Spangled Banner."
Britney had back up lip sync'ers from a pregnant Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, a pregnant Jenna Bush and former bionic woman Lindsay Wagoner.
"Britney was just so awesome," said the daughter of President Bush, "I'm just so happy she is back, it seems like just yesterday she was a really big star. I'm sure if she keep lip syncing like this she'll make it all the way back to the top!"
Ms Spears was unavailable for comment, but issued a statement. "Sppppphhtt to all those people who said I was a talentless media creation! This proves I can still lip sync with the best of them fakes!"