Washington DC - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Wannabe Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton faces some tough questions in the UK alleging she is the mother of Titanic actress Kate Winslet.
The news comes amid anticipated declassification of cold war dossiers kept by UK spooks on up and coming US political protogees of the Osteoporosis division of the American Skull 'N' Bones Club.
Also secreted in the dossier are allegations that former US President Bill Clinton fathered Hollywood Oscar-winnning actor Tom Hanks and protected that paternity with a series of classified US States Secrets gags.
"Nobody has ever been asked to take a DNA test on these alleged connections," a UK Public Records Orifice source said today.
"But then nobody in the US has ever had to take a Polygraph before attempting to run for public office, either."
Steven Spielberg is 61.