Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 9 September 2007

image for Christina Aguilera smells like "dead rats"
Aquilera in happier times

Staff at Hollywood KFC took matters into their own hands when they banned "Dirty" wailer Christina Aguilera from the LA eaterie.

"We thought she was a tramp," said underpaid assistant manager Beatrix LaShaine. "She stinks like dead rats. That girl is whack".

Aquilera was reputedly expelled from the premises by two burly underpaid security staff as she tried to order a chicken burger. When asked to leave due to "hygiene issues" that were affecting other customers , Aquilera began "singing" in a threatening manner, shattering plates and glasses with her shrill gawd awful nasally voice.

Aguilera's management admitted the big voiced skank has body odour issues.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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