Kazakhstan - (Ass Mess & ReuterUs): Madonna is pissed that Richard Branson's proposed Virgin InterGalactic Sapceport in Upham, New Mexico has been architecturally designed around Britney Spears's vagina.
The news was reported this week after plans were released by UK architect Foster + Associates who won the contract for a giant ergonomic, organic, orgasmic erection designed to flatter Spears's pudenda and act as a magnet for wannabe space travellers.
Now the Like a Virgin warbler has demanded a reciprocal erection at the Russian Baikonur Cosmodrome modelled on a huge version of her clitoris "complete with Brazilian landing strip" to reflect her Russian outlets in
the Rio Grande.
But Russian sources aren't sure Madonna projects the right image for them and argue that at almost twice Britney's age "nobody will want to take off from an erection modelled on her bol'shaya fagina.
"Frankly, we would prefer Kylie," a Russian Space Pogrom source said today.
"For one thing she has better ass. And breast.
"Besides, more Russian men fantasise about Kylie than tough old babuschka Ciccone.
"Truss us, we are on the job. But our architects say many months of accurate drawings needed to capture exact Kylie dimensions.
"We don't know if possible for any woman - even an Australian like Kylie - to oblige with necessary spatchcock pose."