Written by queen mudder
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Topics: drinking

Monday, 3 September 2007

image for "Two hairs of the dog and a stiffener for our pal in the limo, landlord"
Did they get their idea from this man?

Soweto, South Africa - (Ass Mess): South African film studios are planning an updated 21st century remake of the 1956 classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers following an incident in Soweto this week.

The move follows the arrest of a couple of Soweto men who went on a bender with a new-found drinking pal - complete with his very own transport - who turned out to be a corpse which they stole along with his coffin-bearing hearse.

As luck would have it the juice ran out early on along with the ingenuity needed to continue the bingeing as the men's judgement faltered into asking some women picked up in a bar 'if they didn't mind just pushing the hearse a bit' when the petrol gauge hit zero.

"We're on a wake for our pal in the back," the women were told when asked to get the hearse to the nearest petrol pump and fill up the tank.

They eventually became suspicious and alerted local police who had by then received a stolen vehicle report from the hearse's driver, Siphiwo Mkhize.

"I am shocked and outraged," Mkhize said today. "Surely there is a law against this sort of thing, bodysnatching maybe?"

The deceased's relatives were equally dismayed and told police that the cause of their loved one's death was cirrhosis of the liver after a lifetime's dedication to keeping South Africa's brewing industry buoyant.

"But maybe this is the send off he would have really wanted?" Mkhize eventually suggested after the dust settled over the incident.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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