When you came over on Christmas of 1968 we smoked the cigars that your parents gave me. We almost felt like real adults as we talked about how to bring you to power in Iraq before Chamenei would do so. As we now know you really made it and Chamenei had to go occupy Iran. Not until almost 30 years later I made it in Florida and then in all 50. My Dad and his predecessor - ahm ... you know Mr. ... the movie star - made sure you had the means to defend yourself against all kinds of people that challenged your position in the 80´s. At the beginning of the 90´s my dad and you had to organize a big show to appease international oil companies about Kuwait.
I was hoping that our intimate relationship would help you to forgive me the show I had to put together to fulfill the demands of yet another company - I think it was Holy Burden. I heard that you had to face severe inconveniences like literally living in a hole for months because of that. I feel deeply sorry for you and I am also very sorry about the accidental passing away of your sons. Well, I thought maybe you could come over for spring break. You know, since you were gone a lot of bad things happened in Iraq. At first I thought I could appease the Iraqis with the magic word democracy. Unfortunately this just did not seem to work. And this is .... - I was wondering if you were willing to take the job of taking care of Iraq once more. ... I know that this is not the most promising job on earth right now but my parents got me some of those delicious cigars you liked so much. - I hope to see you soon.
p.s. : If you happen to know someone for Afghanistan do not hesitate to bring him along. It would be cool if he didn´t have too much facial hair - just like you. :)