As the Big Brother show winds to its terrible conclusion tonight, Channel 4 bosses have revealed a revelation well worth revealing, say experts.
The big news, 'hot off the press', is that 'twins' Amanda and Sam Marchant aren't twins after all, being merely two girls who look remarkably alike.
This series of the hit reality show has been plagued by fakery, including fake housemates, fake evictions, and fake orgasms, and this latest news is hardly a shock to seasoned viewers who, by now, must be bored to death.
Revelation expert Ron Garble told The Spoof:
"These two girls are the unfortunate victims of a Channel 4 fakery caper. Their names aren't even Sam and Amanda - one is called Barbie, the other Sindy - and they don't even like the colour pink. It's a sham."
Sam and Amanda - or Barbie and Sindy - are widely expected to win tonight's show, and to walk away with the £100,000 prize.
Alan Dumfuq, head of Channel 4's jiggery pokery department, said:
"Channel 4 is struggling to attract viewers. We'll do almost anything to increase figures. Indeed, my name actually has a 'c' and a 'k' at the end of it. That should be enough to add 10,000 viewers onto the ratings."