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Wednesday, 22 August 2007

image for Doherty worms his way back to Moss's bed
Doherty is back in the bosom of his affections

London - (OMFG Press): Babyshambles singer and stalwart druggie Peter Doherty has managed to worm his way back to Kate Moss's favors as well as her bed according to cleaning staff employed at the London Hilton Hotel where the pair were spotted holed up in the 19th floor Bridle Sweet.

Doherty has enjoyed a spectacular few weeks evading jail despite drug squad officers consistently busting him for possession on an average of once every weeek since the begining of July this year.

His comeback to Moss's bed has baffled the model's family who urged her to dump him "like the trailer trash he really is" according to reliable sources.

But for five nights the couple have partied in the Hilton after ordering six crates of vintage Dom Perignon to their suite as well as assorted deliveries of aromatherapy (sic) products and homeopathetic (sic) remedies brought in by special courier services.

A spokesman for the hotel's airconditioning service team has said the Hilton's filtration plant had suddenly become clogged up since the couple's arrival and a greenish-yellow sticky herbal substance found emanating in smoke form from their rooms "like it was Bonfire Night".

Doherty is out on bail after promises to six magistrated and three Crown Court judges since 2006 that he was clean and serene after undergoing rehab.

His chance to prove his new-found health kick's efficacy comes up for inspection on 4 September.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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