Written by Johnny Ovaltine
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Topics: Police

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

image for Foxy Brown Takes Out Two New Jersey Cops
Because of Foxy police now carry assault rifles

Cunnilinga Marchingband has gotten into trouble with the police again. After shortening her name to Inga Marchand, for grammatical reasons and then changing it again to the 'simpler to spell' name Foxy Brown, she's had nothing but grief.

She had a rumble in the Bronx with two manicurists that incorrectly 'nailed' her, then she broke buck wild on some other ho because she lowered the volume on her radio, a definite no-no, and now lastly, a moving violation.

"She stepped out of the vehicle, clasped one hand on my neck, lifted me off of the floor and slammed me to the ground. My partner tried to draw his weapon and move in but she gave him a foot-sweep. His shoes went one way and his jockstrap went another. It was brutal," said Sgt. 'Fat-Fingers' McGee.

The officers managed to subdue the violent Foxy by offering her several full cavity searches which she immediately agreed to and assumed the position. Both officers took turns searching her on the side of the road several times before taking her downtown where the cavity searches continued with the rest of the squad participating. As a result, her bail was waived, but she still got seven tickets.

Ms. Brown plans to appeal claiming that it wasn't her that was driving under the influence, talking on the cell phone, putting her make up on, running the stop sign, hitting a little old lady and her dog, going over the sidewalk and crashing into a parked police cruiser. Her lawyer, Johnny Cochran said, "This is a gross miscarriage of justice and a case of mistaken identity."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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