Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: BBC

Sunday, 19 August 2007

image for BBC2's "Hyperdrive" so funny - causes viewer's head to explode
Hyperdrive "will be flushed down the loo" - BBC head of light entertainment

There have been calls from viewers' groups to ban BBC2's sci-fi series "Hyperdrive" because it is "too funny". As a result of such extreme japery, some viewers have experienced accidents. One man laughed so hard his head exploded.

Another viewer, who is now in hospital because he laughed so loudly that he shattered his lounge window and suffered lacerations, said "Just thinking about it makes me want to laugh (tee-hee). It is streets ahead of Red Dwarf."

This view isn't shared by all. "There are clearly some freaks out there who will laugh at paint drying", said one viewer, whose head did not explode. "This is the most abysmal crap I've ever watched. None of the actors can act, the script is shite, the music is forgettable. I wouldn't watch it again unless you paid me to. And it would have to be quite a lot."

So, what exactly is the appeal of HD? We tried interviewing the BBC's head of light entertainment but he was too busy attending a political rally with "Red" Ken Livingstone, or something. As he couldn't make the interview, we decided to make up his statement.

"Hyperdrive is the worst piece of garbage the BBC has ever produced", he didn't admit to us. "We put it on late at night because we know nobody's going to watch it. The audience is drawn from insomniacs with no life who watch the Big Brother contestants sleeping on Channel 4 and change channel during the intervals. The viewer whose head exploded was actually a mental patient who had swallowed a hand grenade. The other one whose lounge windows shattered had pissed off his neighbours by turning the volume up so loud that they tossed a brick through the glass. We will be flushing HD down the loo where it belongs."

Well, there you have it. It couldn't be clearer than that. Hyperdrive really does suck.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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