Written by Dignan
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Monday, 13 August 2007

image for Angry C-Listers Take a Stand

Inspired by the open letter to Hollywood Rob Schneider paid for in an issue of Variety, in which he vowed to never work with Mel Gibson because of Gibson's alleged anti-Semitic drunken rant, many not-so-prominent celebrities are telling movie industry power brokers "Thanks, but no thanks".

Stiflingly unfunny prop-comic Carrot Top has told a friend he intends to follow Schneider's lead and is planning on taking out a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times for the purpose of notifying filmmaker Ang Lee not to bother approaching him with any offers to appear in any of Lee's films. The Top (as he supposedly likes to be called) fails to state in his ad why he'll be shunning Lee but says darkly, "He (Lee) knows what he did." When asked to elaborate, Top refused and instead proceeded to hang a crowbar outside the men's room with a sign "Can Opener" above it.

Bloated Jokester Louis Anderson has also been moved to address the big shots. During his set at a recent car show in Hibbing, Minnesota, Anderson let it be known that Martin Scorsese would have to do without his services in any of Scorsese's future cinematic efforts. Anderson claims that Scorses's films are "a shameless disregard for the multitude of disturbingly ungifted members of the performing community."

Neither Lee or Scorsese could be reached for comment but one executive of a major studio said that if this trend were to continue "Hollywood could be forced to raise the standards of the motion picture as an art form, and nobody wants that."

No word yet as to how this might affect the television industry's long-term programming.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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