Mark Lowton. Who is he?
Some believe him to be an international man of mystery and intrigue, hiding behind his position of editor at The Spoof magazine (such as James Bond did with Universal Export).
Others believe him to be nothing more than a minimum wage employee at Blockbuster who spends all night rewinding the dvds.
Another large group thinks that he is a lush who spends all of his time in bars, drinking himself to death from the spoils of a sweatshop style website manned by underpaid, underfed, overworked writers.
Still others believe him to be a pussy whipped victim who must take his fiance all over the British Isles on her every whim (and ride amusement park rides with her until he vomits).
One enterprising writer, who snapped a picture of toupee and mustache free Lowton rushing to the grocers to purchase sanitary feminine products and bon bons for an "on the rag" fiance, believes that he is secretly the object of affection of Cal Jennings' famous sister.
All of this is true (except the part about being an international man of mystery).