Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: Dragons' Den

Saturday, 11 August 2007

image for Dragon's Den Star Bannatyne Victim of Revenge
Give me your dosh, or yer shoes get pebble-dashed.

GLAHSGEE (Defecated News) - Leisure tycoon, TV star and cheeky Scotsman Duncan Bannatyne got a lesson in business last week he'd never have predicted. After going down a storm in the hit TV show Dragon's Den, Bannatyne found himself at the sharp end of an unhappy venture capital applicant.

Fred Feltz (47) of Watford was shown in the second series making a pitch for his new business called 'Moonshares'.

"It was quite simple really", explained Feltz, "I sell shares on the moon to you, you check the stock market, if prices go up, you're minted. With future lunar exploration, any exciting news like life found would cause prices to rocket, literally."

Bannatyne had marked reservations about the idea, including issues related to 'ownership of moon', and real credibility of the whole far-fetched idea. Unfortunately, his sharp, abrupt manner upset Feltz and last week Feltz retaliated by shitting in Bannatynes shoes while he was getting changed in his Birmingham gym.

Police were called and after DNA tests, Feltz was arrested and charged with damage to property and intent to upset. He was sentenced to twelve months community service with a restraining order of 90 miles.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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