Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for Steve Coogan To Play Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards In Terrible Film
"The Eagle"

TV funnyman and chat show host Steve Coogan is set to play the lead role of anti-hero Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards in a movie of the talentless British ski-jumping nonentity's 'hardly-worth-telling' life story.

Coogan, the comedian responsible for the classic Paul/Pauline Calf and Alan Partridge creations, has, seemingly, acknowledged that his career is "almost over", and has begrudgingly accepted the role of the man he describes as "a very British knob-end".

Aside from the crashingly-boring scenes of Edwards' pathetic attempts to stay upright whilst 'challenging' (sic) the world's best athletes in his chosen sport, the film's action is scant.

Tedious excerpts of his early life, including buying a satchel, teenage bedwetting and suffering at the hands of school bully Norman Stebson, feature rather too heavily at the expense of any real drama, and interesting content is threadbare.

Nicknamed 'Mr Magoo' by the Press, Edwards was far-sighted and had to wear ridiculous glasses, and was further hampered in his jumping becasuse he was scared of heights. He represented Great Britain in the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Canada, where he finished last, a laughing stock amongst the ski-jumping fraternity and an embarrassment to the authorities, who thought he was making a mockery of the sport.

Asked about the choice of Coogan to play his role, Edwards said:

"Him from Norwich? He's a bit of a wally, isn't he?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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