Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 8 August 2007

image for Lily Allen Gets Boot From US
Crowds cheer as Allen is arrested

Lily Allen, the 'pop star' of questionable parentage, has fallen foul of the strict US immigration rules, and has been told that she is no longer welcome in the country.

Allen, whose father Keith is an actor with a huge self-inflated opinion of himself, was at the centre of a storm over her ability as she flew into Los Angeles International airport yesterday.

Officials in LA detained her for five hours before allowing her to leave under the supervision of her manager who was required to sign a gagging order preventing the artist from singing or even opening her mouth.

Allen, 22, in LA for the MTV Music Awards, was scheduled to start her nationwide tour of the States in September, but may now have to cancel the whole tour or ask a more talented singer to take her place.

Miss Allen is well-known in London for her big mouth, and has upset many other fellow singers including Madonna and James Blunt who she described as a *REMOVED*.

The singer is expected to fly out of Los Angeles on Friday, and US Immigration supervisor Lionel Grunge told reporters:

"She's garbage! She won't be coming back."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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