Written by Cholera
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Topics: Lindsay Lohan

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for Lindsay Lohan chases car tyres
Ms Lohan, shortly before her sex change.

World famous pubic lice keeper, Lindsay Lohan, was today witnessed chasing the tyres of a Ford 100 pickup truck.

Lohan, reputed to be possessed by The Devil, was seen heading at 30 mph, down West Hollywood Strasse, yipping and yapping at the vehicle, and salivating wildly.

Lohan, best known for urinating on small rodents, is currently the head librarian at Yale University, but will undoubtedly lose her position there, now that her antics are made public.

She intends to sell photographs of her recent marriage to a lactating arachnid, to raise funds for her forthcoming visit to bars and nightclubs.

There is no evidence to suggest that Lohan, 73, has any financial interest in a sweatshop in Bangladesh.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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