Written by Deanna Goodson
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Monday, 1 March 2004

image for Hobbits Invade the Oscars: Will the Lord of the Rings Travesty Ever End?
Hobbits, Dwarves, Humans and Elves Again...OH MY!

Last night's Academy Awards saw Peter Jackson and his Lord of the Rings Trilogy astoundingly rewarded.

"We were eleven out of eleven. I haven't scored this much since, well, never." Peter Jackson was overheard whispering.

Peter Jackson and his Hobbit Homies, led by men of such short stature as Elijah Wood and Sean Astin, Froddo and Samwise respectively, have decided that they can milk this cash cow one more time.

"Yes, we are going to make a fourth LOTR movie called: Return of the Bling Bling. The Ring will not be a Ring anymore. It will actually be the missing jewelry that Lil' Kim said was stolen from her." Elijah said in a prophetic dream.

The next installment will introduce an African-American Hobbit named Toby, played by Oscar nominee Djimon Hounsou.

"I am honored to bring some color into Middle Earth. LOTR is such a worldwide hit. People will have to remember how to pronounce my name now, right?"
Djimon said to a few onlookers who didn't know how to respond.

Elijah Wood will also go to San Francisco to marry Gandalph in the next installment and Arwen will cheat on Aragorn with Legolas. "He's got such great ears. You know what they say about men with big ears," Liv winked and nudged someone as she said it.

Peter Jackson vehemently denies that he is just trying to ride J.R.R. Tolkien's coat-tails one more time.

"I know Tolkien wanted to do a fourth installment. I mean, the books are not complete enough. There has to be more." Jackson mumbled as he took of his shoes, revealing some hobbit-like hair on his feet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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